Man Problems Help!!!!

[Edwards]

Yesterday my wife has had an unscheduled stay in hospital. today I have a major problem I have never had to encountered before and am in desperate need of help.






















The toilet roll has run out what do I do?

[daveg]

I read your posts yesterday and saw this expecting the something bad.

You rotter!

No doubt someone can give you technical advice about cutting up some newspaper

Hope your good lady is recovering.

[Si]

Have you a spare goose?

[Redvee]

I had the empty cardboard tube issue yesterday too. I phoned a friend and he cleared it up for me

[BSRU]

Use the bedit, it's not just for washing your feet.

[Edwards]

I read your posts yesterday and saw this expecting the something bad.You rotter!No doubt someone can give you technical advice about cutting up some newspaper

It was bad see explanation below.

Use the bedit, it's not just for washing your feet.

Wish we had one I have to use the bathfor my feet. I did use the flowing water technique this morning but had terrible trouble getting my bum down into the pan. Must remember to flush before doing so next time.

There is no way I would contaminate my bum by using newspaper. Just think of all the things that Cameron has caught from being near newspaper !!!!.

[beachcomber]

Good to see you still have you sence of humour. Keep it up.

[tatanab]

Do not forget to hang the new roll so that the paper falls closest to the wall. This is the female way because it looks better. The male way is to hang the paper furthest from the wall so that it is easier to reach. The single male way is to put the roll on top of the cistern - who needs a special holder for a bog roll.

Having paper hung the female way will give you a feeling of familiarity and therefore comfort.

[AlanD]

Hang yourself over the edge of the bath and use the shower head. Don't forget to rinse the bath down afterwards.

[AlanD]

Don't tell MrsD2B that. She'll go spare.

[cycleruk]

Some where in the loo there may be one of these:-
http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Vintage-kitch ... 3cc6d51147

[al_yrpal]

You need to watch Jack Nicholson in " About Schmidt"

[eileithyia]

Is that all... I thought it might be about operating the microwave or the washing machine! lol

[Edwards]

Is that all... I thought it might be about operating the microwave or the washing machine! lol

I have been told to keep away from the micronuclear thing in the corner as it works by some form of magic. Also it does not like me a it keeps exploding things.
I can not find the setting for plates on the washing thing either.

[gaz]

It's OK to mix white plates and coloured plates. You can wash plates on any setting, they will come out clean but not whole.

You can only perform this operation once per set of plates before you need to buy new ones.