Most inventive insult when cycling

[Claireysmurf]

Cycling through the centre of Cardiff today, a pedestrian who was in no rush to cross the road as I was cycling towards him (I had a green light and he crossed on red at a pedestrian crossing) shouted at me '****** tubby'.
I thought the use of tubby was quite inventive. What is the best insult that has been screeched at you whilst cycling?

[pal]

My favourite one ever (from a taxi driver in Cambridge): 'Why don't you get an engine?!'.

[jodee1kenobi]

When I knocked on a bus drivers window asking him to give a cyclist more room when over taking (2 minutes earlier he had nearly clipped my elbow!) I was greeted with "********you fat b***h" Charming coming from a rather rotund bus driver!!!

[Moodyman1]

Me to a chap in a convertible at the lights.
"nice day to get a bit of wind in your hair?"
Him: "yes"
Me: "if you cycled you'd get that feeling all year round"
Him: if you worked hard at school, you'd have a job that paid well enough for you not to cycle to work"

I laughed and we parted company.

[alanesq]

In any exchange I always got the standard "you fat ******" type insults but I have recently lost a lot of weight and so am looking forward to finding out what I get now instead - so far nothing of interest to report

[Mick F]

Can I bring to everyone's attention the bad language rules?
viewtopic.php?f=10&t=57492

I've edited the above posts to take out the poorly disguised swearing.

Please keep it clean.

[The Mechanic]

I guess that effectively kills the thread then. Hey Ho!

[Claireysmurf]

It doesn't necessarily kill the thread. It wasn't the obscenity that I thought good, it was the seldom used word tubby. Obscenities are too often exchanged whilst cycling. Clearly there must be some imaginative language or just plain funny exchanges

[rjb]

When was the last time anyone heard the " get off and milk it " insult

[clapper]

Ah 'get off and milk it' I remember it well. Also from the 60's and 70's came 'Oi mate yer wheels are going round' which was designed to make you think something was wrong, look down and fall off. Rather pathetic which may explain why it died out....

[fausto copy]

"Hurry up, she's catching you up".

Quite inventive since "she" was on the back of my tandem!

[Grandad]

When was the last time anyone heard the " get off and milk it " insult

Or shouted back "Can't - it's a bull"

'Oi mate yer wheels are going round'

A variation was "Yer back wheels going round" to which the reply was "Not forwards I hope"

[theenglishman]

As an Anglo Saxon svelte male I yearn for a creative insult to be thrown at me, preferably from a hot blonde in an open top sports car. Not really on topic though

However, London being as multi-cultural as it is I have learned to recognise a significant number of hand gestures!

[De Sisti]

When a woman in a convertible sports came within touching distance of me at
a set of traffic lights, I asked her why she didn't give me more room. She responded
with the usual stuff about not paying road tax. I replied that if she rode a bike it'd
help to get rid of the fat a cellulite around her hips and thighs. She went mental,
using all manner of profane language to insult me.

Women don't like that comment.

[thirdcrank]

I've had plenty of invective, but I can't remember anything I'd call inventive. (I began cycling in the days when it was thought witty to shout comparisons with Reg Harris.)

The best-remembered comments have been received as I've struggled up hills - the slow pace makes them easier to hear and understand.

I was once riding up Holden lane (out of Silsden towards East Morton) when a walker further up began to shout encouragement. When I got nearer, he noticed the small inner chain ring I was using, although it must have been obvious from the cadence that I wasn't riding a 65" gear. His attitude changed completely: it was as though I had climbed up onto a snooker table to take a shot, with a fag hanging from the corner of my mouth with a pint on the cushion. He didn't use the words "bounder and cad" but he was obviously thinking on those lines.

As for comments from motor vehicle users, I was riding up Ellers Road out of Sutton in Craven towards Laycock (just across the valley, in fact) when I caught up with a classic open-top sports car with two small children kneeling on the dickey seats looking back towards me. When I had made contact, so to speak, a little girl shouted "Daddy, that old man on the bike has caught us." I didn't know whether to be pleased by my perfomance or hurt by the description.