Cycling UK Forum

cyclop wrote:

cyclop wrote:How about losing an artificial eye on the Bowland Fells whilst wild camping.I,d wrapped it in a pair of shorts--wasn,t there in the morning?I even returned with my uncle and a sieve,no luck.If anybody finds it,maybe downstréam,possibly a long way,in fact probably out to sea by now,it was 1970 !

Look what I found today on the cockleshell beach at Kippford.P1010119.JPGDefinitely my eye,a bit faded but hey,you would be after 50yrs at sea.

One can only imagine the history of that eye over the last 50 years. Down through the waterworks at Sykes into the Hodder and thence into the Wiver Wibble. Perhaps a trout swallowed it for a time then regretted the snack later on, in passing. Down the Ribble to Lytham, where it may have been found and used for some years by a tramp lady, pushing a-one of those soopermarket trolleries into which detritus of various kinds finds its way.

One day the tramp lady gets so drunk she too loses the fine eye, which feels some relief, not having wanted to see the things the tramp lady got up to when no one else was looking. Out into the Irish sea, for a swim past Blackpool beaches, playing dodge-the-floaters, and eventually across to Haverigg, where a prison officer discovers it and uses it to frighten naughty prisoners by lowering it on a string through the ventilator into their cell, just as they are indulging is a regular pleasure which is nevertheless forbidden.

But how did the rascal get across Lakeland to The Solway Firth? Here is the real mystery - although by now that eye may have learned a means of self-rolling, enabling a slow climb up over Black Combe then onward, ever onward, to The North, greeting walkers it met with a cheery leer.

DId it give you a wink when you found it, as it told you, "I've been looking for you."

Cugel

Hi,

Cyril Haearn wrote:250 km cycled in a day
Easy country mind, Eryri, nearly half the time one is going downhill

400K unsupported in one day, easy going though.
A press-up whilst doing a hand stand, in days when I could lift my body weight above my head
475K in 32 hrs, still working on that and may well be over the hill

Cugel wrote:

cyclop wrote:

cyclop wrote:How about losing an artificial eye on the Bowland Fells whilst wild camping.I,d wrapped it in a pair of shorts--wasn,t there in the morning?I even returned with my uncle and a sieve,no luck.If anybody finds it,maybe downstréam,possibly a long way,in fact probably out to sea by now,it was 1970 !

Look what I found today on the cockleshell beach at Kippford.P1010119.JPGDefinitely my eye,a bit faded but hey,you would be after 50yrs at sea.

One can only imagine the history of that eye over the last 50 years. Down through the waterworks at Sykes into the Hodder and thence into the Wiver Wibble. Perhaps a trout swallowed it for a time then regretted the snack later on, in passing. Down the Ribble to Lytham, where it may have been found and used for some years by a tramp lady, pushing a-one of those soopermarket trolleries into which detritus of various kinds finds its way.

One day the tramp lady gets so drunk she too loses the fine eye, which feels some relief, not having wanted to see the things the tramp lady got up to when no one else was looking. Out into the Irish sea, for a swim past Blackpool beaches, playing dodge-the-floaters, and eventually across to Haverigg, where a prison officer discovers it and uses it to frighten naughty prisoners by lowering it on a string through the ventilator into their cell, just as they are indulging is a regular pleasure which is nevertheless forbidden.

But how did the rascal get across Lakeland to The Solway Firth? Here is the real mystery - although by now that eye may have learned a means of self-rolling, enabling a slow climb up over Black Combe then onward, ever onward, to The North, greeting walkers it met with a cheery leer.

DId it give you a wink when you found it, as it told you, "I've been looking for you."

Cugel

Brilliant!Didn,t go overland though.Remember the bower bird?Apparently he belonged to the Solway branch, nesting at Kippford.

Tinpotflowers wrote:Topper
An annoying person who responds to hearing someone else’s experience or problem by immediately telling a similar story about themselves with a much more fantastic outcome. They've done everything you have, only more often... and better than you.
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Topper

Black Catter.
My black cat is blacker than your black cat.

--------------------------------------------

Been happily married for 46years this November.
Cycled End2End four times including one on a Raleigh Chopper.
Swam a complete length of an olympic pool underwater.
Owned a parrot for 35years.
Never smoked.
Never had a tattoo.
Had a flying lesson.
Lived in Scotland.
Won a fancy dress competition dressed as a heavily pregnant woman.
Lost all my hair, completely and utterly, no hair anywhere on my body.
Survived 27years in the Royal Navy.
Crossed the international dateline.

Cycled in ..........
Gibraltar, including to the Top of the Rock, and into Spain.
Naples, including up Vesuvius to the Seismic Observatory.
Corfu
Haifa, Israel
Bahrain
Mombassa, Kenya
Karachi, Pakistan
Sri Lanka
Malaysia
Thailand
Bermuda
Singapore
Port Moresby, Papua New Guinea
Jakarta, Indonesia
Nassau, Bahamas
Bunbury, Western Australia
Adelaide
Sydney, including into the Blue Mountains
Hobart to Port Arthur, Tasmania
Caen, and the Normandy Coast
Bremen, Germany
Bremerhaven, Germany
Antwerp
Amsterdam
Copenhagen
USA:
500 miles from Niagara Falls, Canada to Portsmouth, New Hampshire. Taking in New York State, Vermont and Massachusetts.
Florida, Cape Canaveral and Jacksonville.
Wilmington, North Carolina
Manhattan

Blimey Mick F you could sing your own version of that Johnny Cash song..'I've been everywhere'!
I've rode my bike in the Orkney Islands and the Isles of scilly!

Hobart to Port Arthur, Tasmania

1988 we called in at Hobart.
We were programmed to be there a week, but it got cut short to just a weekend.

We spent far too long in Singapore earlier in the deployment, then were delayed getting round Oz. I was really looking forward to Tasmania as found Singers boring and horrible as I remember it when it used to be a great city and island when I was first there in 1971. Far too modern even in 1988, goodness knows how horrible it is now.

Any road up, we came clockwise round OZ and called in Hobart. I'd done some research about routes and places to ride to, wanting to go north to Launceston and out to the west. All I could do was have a ride to Port Arthur, stay overnight and see the old convict prisons etc and ride back the following day. Saturday and Sunday if my memory serves me correctly. 60odd miles each way.

Often took a bike on my ships. Mercian dates back to 1986, so he's been "round the world" with me. Previous was a Raleigh Esquire, and that did the deployments in 1981/82. Mrs Mick F came out to Mombassa for Christmas 1981 and we rode it into town a few times ........ she on the saddle and me standing and pedalling!
Happy days.

This is Mercian in Tasmania on the way back to Hobart.

Very little of which I am proud or would want to disclose, except for not having touched a drop of alcohol for 16 years and 4 months - after peaking at 2 bottles of gin/brandy a day. Still very much one day at a time, just about all my dreams/nightmares revolve around drink(ing).

Grief!
Well done!

I drink beer mainly, sometimes wine, but rarely to excess.

Cugel wrote:

100%JR wrote:

Cyril Haearn wrote:Topper? Bottomer?
I was stopped by the police for driving abnormally slowly, quite proud of that
Never been stopped for going too fast, mind

Proud?
That is far more dangerous than going fast
BTW you cannot go too fast.Speed is good.

You are a droll troll, I must say!

Cugel

Mmmm......maybe because I'm not a Troll?

Saying it how it is...is not Trolling but merely speaking the truth

djnotts wrote:Very little of which I am proud or would want to disclose, except for not having touched a drop of alcohol for 16 years and 4 months - after peaking at 2 bottles of gin/brandy a day. Still very much one day at a time, just about all my dreams/nightmares revolve around drink(ing).

Proud of you mate.
Really!
Keep it up!

Cugel wrote:
You are a droll troll, I must say!

Cugel

"Speak roughly to your little boy, And beat him when he sneezes; He only does it to annoy, Because he knows it teases."

Lewis Carroll.

Talked to someone who was alone and appeared to be contemplating jumping off the Forth Road Bridge, and kept them talking until the help I had summoned arrived.

Only had sex with my wife for the last 32 years ..........

landsurfer wrote:Only had sex with my wife for the last 32 years ..........

Wot, you do nothing else with the lady!? Surely it would be nice to occasionally go to the theatre or even up a fell for a walk? Mine takes me bike riding just so she can see me suffer. Sometimes I'm still fit (just) for that you mention, on return; but I often have to just lie there whilst she has her wicked way.

Cugel