What Has Made You Laugh Today ?

[SporranMcDonald]

Heard on Radio 4 News, several times :-
Covid Enquiry : Lord Sedwell's reported comment . . . paraphrase . . . .
<< Matt Hancock was so far up BJ's [buttock orifice], that his ankles were brown. >>

. . . Don't hold back mi'lord, tell us what you REALLY think !!

[Cowsham]

Heard on Radio 4 News, several times :-
Covid Enquiry : Lord Sedwell's reported comment . . . paraphrase . . . .
<< Matt Hancock was so far up BJ's [buttock orifice], that his ankles were brown. >>

. . . Don't hold back mi'lord, tell us what you REALLY think !!

No the brown marks were just bruises from the plank he had to tie round his feet keep him from disappearing altogether.

[Cowsham]

The "Cold Ears" and " Mudflaps what do you use " threads are next to each other on the list of active topics on here. ... the images that conjurers up are funny.

[Mike Sales]

Richard Ingram recalled Lord Gnome's organ's parody of The Sun at the time of the Falklands War.

"Kill an Argie and win a Metro".

[peetee]

I attended a spin class at the local sports centre then had a chat with a couple of regulars whom I’ve never spoken with before. What started as a genial conversation suddenly came to an abrupt halt when one of them, not 10 mins after he had stepped off a gym bike, started on an anti-cyclist rant!

[Cowsham]

I attended a spin class at the local sports centre then had a chat with a couple of regulars whom I’ve never spoken with before. What started as a genial conversation suddenly came to an abrupt halt when one of them, not 10 mins after he had stepped off a gym bike, started on an anti-cyclist rant!

To follow that my workmate who does spin classes regularly was at his class last week and heard a big thump behind his bike. A big chap had managed to fall off his bike landing on the floor like a crashed helicopter - one foot still in the toe strap.

[cycleruk]

They don't make them like this anymore :-
(sorry if there is an advert but stick with it. )
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZjVQOjBPJ_o

[Cowsham]

Our version

https://youtu.be/o3nbnvb_fV8?feature=shared

[Cowsham]

Northern Ireland Aberdeen Angus

[Cowsham]

Someone on the tele said " should we bring Boris back ?" With lightning reaction my wife shouts "NO!" -- she scared the wits out me.

[Mike Sales]

… Oh ye cannae fling pieces oot a twenty-story flat
Seven hundred hungry weans will testify tae that
If it's butter, cheese or jeely
If the breid is plain or pan
The chances of it reaching earth are ninety nine tae wan

https://www.scottishbooktrust.com/songs ... piece-song

[richardfm]

… Oh ye cannae fling pieces oot a twenty-story flat
Seven hundred hungry weans will testify tae that
If it's butter, cheese or jeely
If the breid is plain or pan
The chances of it reaching earth are ninety nine tae wan

https://www.scottishbooktrust.com/songs ... piece-song

You were listening to Radio 4 this morning!

[richardfm]

… Oh ye cannae fling pieces oot a twenty-story flat
Seven hundred hungry weans will testify tae that
If it's butter, cheese or jeely
If the breid is plain or pan
The chances of it reaching earth are ninety nine tae wan

https://www.scottishbooktrust.com/songs ... piece-song

Hearing it reminded me of this
https://youtu.be/Bn1tVeFMrdw?si=f6xiiC54Xx5Gfh3G

[Mike Sales]

You were listening to Radio 4 this morning!

Guilty.
From memories of my time staying in Scotland I recall such lines as:-
"You cannae throw your granny off a bus."
And
"She's nae hairy Mary, she's your Maw."

[Cugel]

You were listening to Radio 4 this morning!

Guilty.
From memories of my time staying in Scotland I recall such lines as:-
"You cannae throw your granny off a bus."
And
"She's nae hairy Mary, she's your Maw."

For terribly awful politically incorrect and scatalogical Scottish humour I will recommend the "Still Game" series available to all via BBC iPlayer. Modern folk of a sensitive or soft southern jessie ilk may be shocked, horrified and traumatised, so best to watch The Vic of Dib instead (which is also very funny but ..... nice).