What Has Made You Laugh Today ?

[reohn2]

Dinosaurs went extinct because they voted Tory.

Ooo!naughty,naughty,you mentioned politics

Ooh you rebel, you! There's no telling YOU what to do, is there? Do you stick two fingers up behind policemen's backs? Please tell us some tales; we need escapism from our dull lives!

OOO! daarling wouldn't you like to know?

[tim-b]

I was just reading the local paper. After I left the takeaway a brawl broke out and several people were injured, they were all naan-combatants

[reohn2]

tim-b
Your jokes are hot saucy stuff and always rice to the occasion,it's great that they don't sag to a loo standard




I'll get me sari....

[Mike Sales]

On my way to the paper shop this morning I picked up a discarded and crumpled sweet wrapper, in order to bin it. At first glance I read CARS KILL printed on it. Closer inspection was disappointing.

[reohn2]

I regularly pass a large establishment with a few old sad looking bangers outside.The sign on the front reads "Jap Crap car spares secondhand Suzuki parts"

[tim-b]

I visited the local RSPCA HQ today. It's smaller than I expected, you definitely can't swing a cat in there

[reohn2]

Primary school teacher says to her class of nine your olds,now class I want you to think of a sentence with the word charming in it and put your hand up when you've thought of one.
Little goodie two shoes Emily's hand shoots up and says ,"Miss my Mum says my new dress looks charming"
Teacher replies "oh,Emily that's lovely"
Little snotty nosed kid at the back says"miss I know one with two charmings in it"
"Well tell the class then Johnnie"
"Miss my 15yearold sister Mercedes came home yesterday and said she was pregnant,and my dad said that was charming f***in' charming"

[Carlton green]

Mick's typo

Yes, ‘recon’ (should be reckon?). An easy mistake to make, and a fine fellow like him can be forgiven much.

[Mick F]

Hi guys.
Been very busy these past few days, but I love this forum and how we all get on well, but making fun of us at the same time!

[al_yrpal]

There's an old man walking along the street at two in the morning.
He's stumbling a bit and holding a glass. So the police stop him and ask him where he's going.
'To a lecture.'
'At two in the morning?' asks the policeman. 'What's the lecture on?'
'Smoking and drinking,' the old man says.
'Who's giving it?
'My wife.'

[rjb]

[Pastychomper]

A normally cheerful six-year-old was storming about the house in high dudgeon, chasing her older brother from room to room and up the stairs, determined to make him listen to her. A parent intervened and she paused and laughed, then dashed off to find the brother and shout at him again.

The message she thought it so important to deliver? "Stop following me!!"

[djnotts]

On the day that we have the new MisTrust handed power I can't imagine anything that I would find funny.

[mattheus]

I think I saw a weasel at the weekend. Or was it a stoat?

Anyone know how to tell them apart?

[Jdsk]

... this is very important... you must tell them apart.

; - )

Jonathan