Sad day but the right thing to do

[francovendee]

After suffering back pain trying to duck under the low boom of my Mirror dinghy I gave it away yesterday.
I didn't want any money but did want it to find an owner who would use it and look after it.
I've had the dinghy for many years and it was given to me by a friend who is very ill with Dementia.
I've had many happy days with this boat and letting it go was hard.
It's now going to be based in Arcachon and I've been invited down to see it in the Autumn. The lady who has taken it is very active in the restoration and use of traditional boats from the area.

I just hope the legs hold out so I can still get on the bike.

I wonder if other members have had a lump in their throat when they realise the time has come to stop doing something they love?

[al_yrpal]

I had a Mirror once and taught my son to sail with it. He used to race twice a week and moved on through various boats right up to the age of 40. I had a Vagabond, an Enterprise and a Phantom that I built. Later i bought a Moody 29 which I shared with 2 pals for 20 years. I was sad when we finally sold it and started chartering, it just wasnt the same.
Anyway my son gave up dinghys and learned to fly. Finding that too expensive he switched to motorbikes but recently at the age of 54 bought a Solo so he's back dinghy sailing again!
No regrets from me I thoroughly enjoyed it all.

Al

[squeaker]

After suffering back pain trying to duck under the low boom of my Mirror dinghy

Low? Ever sailed a Laser? (Let alone a Contender or Finn...)
Being told that I should no longer to run for exercise was a growing old(er) moment for me, but the thought that a new hip would remove the pain was sufficient to prevent any throat lumps.
Glad you seem to have found a good home for the Mirror.

[simonineaston]

they realise the time has come to stop doing something they love?

I was unprepared for the sensation of loss I experienced after I finished my full time work, having spent the past decades moaning furiously about it !

[thirdcrank]

they realise the time has come to stop doing something they love?

I was unprepared for the sensation of loss I experienced after I finished my full time work, having spent the past decades moaning furiously about it ! :lol:

That's something that didn't bother me at all. It's just ten days since the 25th anniversary of my last working day. I worked an early turn, mainly devoted to clearing my junk, then put a some £££ behind the bar of a boozer and waved everybody goodbye. I didn't join NARPO (police pensioners) and didn't sign up for free copies of the West Yorkshireman. Nor did I bother with a pass for the police stations with "canteens" (private bars) which were all closed soon after. I don't bother with the informal get togethers and I'm not much of a funeral goer either. A miserable bugger, in other words

[al_yrpal]

Simon, what you experienced is natural. When I was working my pals were mainly work pals. After retiring I had to volunteer to make more local pals which is what you have done. I didnt realise that I lived in the middle of a stunning stretch of countryside. It was wonderful to explore it on the bike.
Now after 3 forced house moves I have to start all over again. Its not easy when you are fast approaching 80, but we have started.
Interesting TC...I sort of understood that coppers shouldnt make close friends outside the force?

Al

[thirdcrank]

Simon, what you experienced is natural. When I was working my pals were mainly work pals. After retiring I had to volunteer to make more local pals which is what you have done. I didnt realise that I lived in the middle of a stunning stretch of countryside. It was wonderful to explore it on the bike.
Now after 3 forced house moves I have to start all over again. Its not easy when you are fast approaching 80, but we have started.
Interesting TC...I sort of understood that coppers shouldnt make close friends outside the force?

Al

I don't know anything about the bit I've highlighted. It's probably a personal fault that has meant I have kept in touch with few people going right back to my childhood. But there are no rules formal or informal about making friends outside the police. Teaming up with baddies isn't a good idea in any walk of life. There are things like shiftwork and unpredictable "exigencies of the service" that can make regular social events difficult. Even if the highlighted bit were so, over my thirty years I worked with loads of different people - at ten (?) different police stations across West Yorkshire, as well as at Headquarters and Farce Control in the middle of Bradford - but the only former colleagues I'm in touch with are those I bump into. And a former sergeant from my early days who lives nearby and whose daily paper I deliver when I go for my own.
=============================================================
PS It's occurred to me that among all the other mnemonics at district training centre now 55 years ago, the discipline code was covered by

B
A
D

M
E
N

F
A
I
L

eg F = Falsehood or prevarication and E = Entering licensed premises without permission. The mnemonic doesn't bring to mind anything about being chums with bad men or indeed bad women
====================================================
PPS

For anybody who likes sources, the 1965 discipline regs are here with the Discipline Code in Schedule 1:

https://vlex.co.uk/vid/police-disciplin ... -812420377

Unfortunately, if ou want to read that far down you have to subscribe to Vlex

The later 1985 version is here, with the Discipline Code again in Schedule One

https://www.legislation.gov.uk/uksi/198 ... 518_en.pdf

(No prizes for anybody highlighting a lacuna in my knowledge or memory)

[Psamathe]

After suffering back pain trying to duck under the low boom of my Mirror dinghy

Low? Ever sailed a Laser? :lol: (Let alone a Contender or Finn...)
Being told that I should no longer to run for exercise was a growing old(er) moment for me, but the thought that a new hip would remove the pain was sufficient to prevent any throat lumps.
Glad you seem to have found a good home for the Mirror.

I still have my Laser. Full standard rig (me at 61Kg) though I do have a radial rig as well but for some reason can't get the sails right so I stuck with the somewhat overpowered (for me) standard.

But not used it for a few years (balance condition, chronic sinus condition and other things to do) but I can't bring myself to sell it. It's not worth much (in excellent condition but 15 years old). Somehow selling it at my age would be a recognition that I'll never race it again (only ever raced in it) and it was great fun and to recognise "never again" is very hard to do.

Ian

[Mike Sales]

Somehow selling it at my age would be a recognition that I'll never race it again (only ever raced in it) and it was great fun and to recognise "never again" is very hard to do.

Ian

I think there are many contributors to this forum who are, like you and me, of a certain age: an age when we are having to face physical decline, and to accept that we can no longer pretend to have the powers we once felt to be an essential part of our being. This is difficult enough to accept, and to dispose of our bikes, boats and boots is a final acceptance of old age and is a clear symbol of where we are in life.
It has to be done though, and to be accepted as well as we can

The memories of a man in his old age
Are the deeds of a man in his prime
You shuffle in the gloom of the sick room
And talk to yourself as you die…

Roger Waters.

However you rage against the dying of the light it will make no difference. Dylan never got old.

[Tangled Metal]

I used to be a keen whitewater kayaker but I broke my hand badly climbing which took me away from the sport for some time.

I think I went back after 2 years or so, went to a memorial paddle for a guy in my old club I knew to say hi to. We paddled the river he died on and then a pub memorial. I did a few more trips but it was hard work and I'd lost my edge, fitness and a degree of skill. But most of all I lost my bottle or hunger for it.

Part of the issue was the cold water, even with good neoprene gloves, the hand I broke felt it badly. Pain in the form of a thrombin ache. I believe the beginnings of arthritis.

So I took a break. That break became the sad realisation that I'm now a retired kayaker. The hardest thing for me was actually paddling at a standard way below what I used to be. Decades of building my abilities on the water, both physical, mental and awareness. Hand eye coordination was lost too. Serious grade 5 once felt like modest grade 3 felt in the end.

I still say to myself that when my son is older I'll get back into it. Self delusion I know but...

[pwa]

We move on, or turn pages. And there is usually something new that one can turn to. I do a lot less cycling these days, but that's because I do a lot more walking. If my legs gave in I might learn to paint in watercolours properly, one of my, as yet unrealised ambitions. Time you no longer spend on one activity is time you can spend on something new.

[francovendee]

I didn't think I would think giving away my Mirror would be as hard to do as it was.
I kept looking at it in storage and thinking maybe I could use it but my back quickly reminded me it was just a dream.

I had a vague idea that maybe a bigger boat might keep me sailing but I found that a bigger boat brings other problems.
A friend invited me for a day sail on his Cornish Crabber. Lovely safe comfortable boat but I realised launching and recovery on my own was a non starter.

I've loved my 50 years of owning boats and will always miss owning one but I'm sure the new owner will look after the Mirror and have a lot of fun with it.

[CliveyT]

I still call myself a rugby player. Its been 15 years but I still have my last pair of boots. I gave up serious rugby when I discovered you can get 360 degree articulation of the knee. I came back at a more recreational level but it was less fun and my knee would occasionally remind me (and still does) what I did to it. Despite that and the fact that a cyclist's physique is not really suited to playing rugby I still can't bring myself to make that step from player to ex-player

[Tangled Metal]

I'm an ex kayaker even though I know where my boats are, paddles are and the rest of the kayaking gubbins are. Just because I haven't given the kit away doesn't mean I can't accept being an ex kayaker. I am what I am in just respect. Maybe one day I'll become a born again kayaker but until then there's storage for it all.