Guardian blind date

[Ben@Forest]

Some of you will be aware of the Guardian's weekly 'Blind Date', where the newspaper puts two people together for a meal and then reports on how they get on. This week to the opening question of 'What were you hoping for?' the reply was:

To enjoy a delicious dinner and engaging conversation with someone with an open mind and similar values and beliefs.

Does the response show that she, if she can't have a date with someone with dissimilar values and beliefs, doesn't have an open mind herself?

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyl ... ena-nathan

[PH]

Does the response show that she, if she can't have a date with someone with dissimilar values and beliefs, doesn't have an open mind herself?

No.
Is the door open or shut?

[jois]

Some of you will be aware of the Guardian's weekly 'Blind Date', where the newspaper puts two people together for a meal and then reports on how they get on. This week to the opening question of 'What were you hoping for?' the reply was:

To enjoy a delicious dinner and engaging conversation with someone with an open mind and similar values and beliefs.

Does the response show that she, if she can't have a date with someone with dissimilar values and beliefs, doesn't have an open mind herself?

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyl ... ena-nathan

It most certainly does, nor can you really have a conversation with someone who agrees with you

" I think white wine is best" " I agree" end of that conversation. They tend to mean listens to me and doesn't express any contrary views, in fact not speaking at all, just nod a lot

These tolerant times don't appear to have an tolerance for anyone who has a different view, then you see them6 months later sat staring at their phones and ignoring each other with nothing left to discuss

Not that I haven't pretended to be very agreeable on first dates.i just can't keep it up for more than an hour, before I tell them they are talking out of their eer hat

I had one date with a girl who decided to lecture me on healthy eating, I nodded a lot and said I agree

Then we walked past the kebab shop and the sever banged on the window in greeting and said "hi jois it will be ready for you at 11, " " never seen the woman before in my life", I said

[Nearholmer]

The question was what they hoped for, not their level of tolerance for anything other than an ideal, so my reading is that you can tell next to nothing about their toleration from the answer.

I get up every day hoping for bright, mild weather, with a tiny breeze, but if you were to conclude from that that I can tolerate nothing else, you would be making a huge leap in assumptions.

[Stevek76]

Open mind is mostly cliché blurb. Almost no one has a truly open mind and frankly that's a good thing. The logical limit would otherwise end up with accusations of people being closed minded because they weren't ok with baby sacrifices or something...

[jois]

The question was what they hoped for, not their level of tolerance for anything other than an ideal, so my reading is that you can tell next to nothing about their toleration from the answer.

I get up every day hoping for bright, mild weather, with a tiny breeze, but if you were to conclude from that that I can tolerate nothing else, you would be making a huge leap in assumptions.

Hoped for in a relationship and hoped for in the weather are very different thing, one gives you an actual choice and one doesn't

My hoped for wife has been a long time coming,my hoped for weather happens many times a year, that said I tend not to waste my time hoping for 70degress for at least half the year, that said I may have been wasting my time hoping for a catwalk model when the best I could get was a carnival queen,

[jois]

Open mind is mostly cliché blurb. Almost no one has a truly open mind and frankly that's a good thing. The logical limit would otherwise end up with accusations of people being closed minded because they weren't ok with baby sacrifices or something...

I think the phrases usualy excludes infanticide by default

[Jdsk]

The question was what they hoped for, not their level of tolerance for anything other than an ideal, so my reading is that you can tell next to nothing about their toleration from the answer.
...

That sounds right to me.

Jonathan

[Nearholmer]

Hoped for in a relationship and hoped for in the weather are very different thing, one gives you an actual choice and one doesn't

The question was what they hoped for in a dinner date. What do expect the reply to be? “I’m looking forward to being served unpalatable food and being harangued by a bigot all evening.”?

We can probably all tolerate that, I’ve certainly put up with it several times at ‘business’ dinners, but it sure as heck wasn’t what I hoped for.

TBH, I would probably have gone for ‘stimulating company’, which might mean a hundred things, but their answer doesn’t seem to point to intolerance, just a search for a soul mate.

[jois]

Hoped for in a relationship and hoped for in the weather are very different thing, one gives you an actual choice and one doesn't

The question was what they hoped for in a dinner date. What do expect the reply to be? “I’m looking forward to being served unpalatable food and being harangued by a bigot all evening.”?

We can probably all tolerate that, I’ve certainly put up with it several times at ‘business’ dinners, but it sure as heck wasn’t what I hoped for.

TBH, I would probably have gone for ‘stimulating company’, which might mean a hundred things, but their answer doesn’t seem to point to intolerance, just a search for a soul mate.

The phrase "open mind" suggests they want their faults over looked and similar" values and beliefs "means they don't intend to over look others

[Nearholmer]

Do they?

You don’t think they could mean other things entirely?

For instance, might “open minded” mean “not closed minded”, and “similar values and beliefs” mean “not so entirely opposite in outlook from me that it becomes apparent in the first ten seconds that we could never have a meeting of minds however long we sat there”?

[Stevek76]

I think the phrases usualy excludes infanticide by default

Don't be so closed minded

But that's basically the point here, there's going to be a line but people will draw it in different places and for different topics and even in different times and cultures.

When it comes to infanticide, sure almost everyone (hopefully) will find such direct cases as the aforementioned sacrifices morally repugnant. But what about less direct infant deaths through chronically underfunded healthcare?

Ultimately it's a very cliché phrase that's far too subjective. The other half of wanting the other person to have reasonable similar values seems entirely sensible however if you're looking for a relationship.

[jois]

Do they?

You don’t think they could mean other things entirely?

For instance, might “open minded” mean “not closed minded”, and “similar values and beliefs” mean “not so entirely opposite in outlook from me that it becomes apparent in the first ten seconds that we could never have a meeting of minds however long we sat there”?

No my knowledge of what women mean when they say innocuous sounding things has been perfected over many years and many women.

I

[jois]

I think the phrases usualy excludes infanticide by default

Don't be so closed minded

But that's basically the point here, there's going to be a line but people will draw it in different places and for different topics and even in different times and cultures.

When it comes to infanticide, sure almost everyone (hopefully) will find such direct cases as the aforementioned sacrifices morally repugnant. But what about less direct infant deaths through chronically underfunded healthcare?

Ultimately it's a very cliché phrase that's far too subjective. The other half of wanting the other person to have reasonable similar values seems entirely sensible however if you're looking for a relationship.

Well that would make a nice debate for a first date, looser pays for the meal

[Tangled Metal]

It most certainly does, nor can you really have a conversation with someone who agrees with you

" I think white wine is best" " I agree" end of that conversation.

Or

"I bought a wonderful white in holiday last year to avoid places in the Rhone valley called... I think Waitrose sells it. If you get the chance look for it. "

"Oh I went to the Rhone a few years ago, which part did you go to? "

Agreement can just be the start of a conversation as per the extension of your conversation example.

Similarly wanting a set of criteria for a blind date doesn't mean they are closed to a blind date that doesn't have them. It's just a wish list, or it could be. The proof is if they walk off because they were disagreed with or not I guess.

I might prefer to agree with my friends I won't fall out with them if we don't. I would have left this forum by now if people who disagreed with me put me off. I reckon more people than not share this outlook in the Liberal West.