Cycling UK Forum

Seems to me you made a lot of assumptions about a complete stranger. And then played some bizarre game. I'm not surprised if he thought you were odd. I would have wanted to get away from you too. If I'm cycling alone (which is nearly always) I cycle at the speed I want to. I'm certainly not going to start messing around with my speed because I think I can read the mind of another cyclist.

I might say hello or hi to somebody riding a bike who passes me. But usually only if they do first. Other people riding bikes aren't "my fellow cyclists" and I'm not part of "the cycling community" or any of that nonsense. People on bikes have asked if I'm OK if they see me stopped at the side of the road, and I've done the same. But so do some people in cars. Which is nice.

If I wanted my cycling to be a social activity I'd join a cycling club.

I have decided that the social cyclists ride in groups and non social ones ride solo and be left alone apart from oddballs like me who like to talk bike's and who's circumstances don't allow group riding , I could count on one hand the conversations beyond "hi" I've had in the last few decades , but hey that's the way of it , I have noticed motorcyclist to be the opposite and actively seek out others to chat to.

My family has its fair share of those with ASD for whom social interaction is an issue, so some caution is necessary. However, I'm a firm believer that as social animals we humans work better together. As a case in point our 'taciturn and unsocial' neighbours found that getting together in groups of 6 on the neighbours front lawn during lockdown was a life saver. Friendships have deepened, we now know a lot more about each other and, as individuals have fallen ill we a) know about it and b) know how to go about helping. We also enjoy a monthly pub lunch together - what's not to like?

On another rather oblique note, I have worked with many Chinese engineers over the years and often wondered why, with their enthusiasm and resources they struggled to make the technical progress we often required from them. The reason finally became clear. They rarely seek advice from their peers and struggle to work as teams for fear of individually 'losing face'. I could never train and engineer then get an untrained engineer to learn from their experienced colleague. Each had to come to me individually and sequentially and simply wouldn't ask another engineer for fear of 'losing face'.

We are indeed all different, but I can't help believing the world would be a better place if we were more sociable

Yes, I have come across loosing face several times in my life as an Engineer with both Chinese and Indians. Talk about 'foot shoot in!' The abject fear of it really surprised me. Something they seem to need mentoring about... but their culture would no doubt make that a no no.

Al

Stradageek wrote: ↑13 Jul 2023, 1:28pm I've done my fair share of chasing down the guy ahead on the road, I quite like a bit of a natter and the chasing down is made easier by riding a recumbent which is itself a good conversation starter.

So today the reverse occurred; a cyclist appeared in my mirrors with a stance that suggested he wanted to chase me. I made the rather judgemental assumption that he would be a monosyllabic 'mamil' and played the game for the next (flat into headwind) 2 miles, accelerating slightly whenever he sprinted to close the gap. I knew a steep hill was approaching where my heavyweight machine wouldn't match his carbon beauty so waited for the catch and hoped I was wrong in my assumption.

Sadly, I wasn't, I got a brief "Hi" but only because I said "Hello" first before he motored on.

Am I just a sociable chap indulging a passion where most of the proponents want to be left alone?

In the words of Jane Austen should I learn to become 'unsocial and taciturn'

Your recumbent may be 10+lbs heavier , but the weight you have to haul up the hill includes you, the bike's weight being small in comparison.

Now what I would like to know, is why are mamils so much faster up hills, even sitting down?

Lets face it, you ride your recumbent for attention, atleast I do.

As he passed me the guy looked 40-ish, I'm 67 so that's my excuse.

I wave at pretty much everyone. Some wave back, some start a conversation, some ignore me completely, even when in the middle of nowhere (Shetland, the wilds of British Columbia, wherever). It is a funny sport, with all kinds: snobs, chatty Kathy's, fast, slow, competitive etc etc. Like life in general. I never seem to find the right speed for everyone else: I want to go too slow, or too fast. Having said all that, booting it uphill, just as the guy catches up is not really being very "social".

I have autism but you would not know to see me and I do NO like conversation starters, consider that we are all different.

Just because I don't like mixing, or people talking to me does not make me a bad person, people need to THINK before approaching others and "assuming" the "want" to have a conversation.

Like dog owners who let their dogs jump or approach people with the assumption you will or will have to like their dog.

I forsee a possible problem. I ignore other cyclists in case they just want to be left alone, they do the same to me and we become a notoriously antisocial breed.

And maybe I'll get a vest, like some dogs wear, saying "keep your dog away from me, I don't like them!"

All above comments are tongue in cheek

It is a dilemma.

As I said (and there are few people like me with Autism or other " considerations" "talked "at""



That said, I did forget to say I always give a nod to passing cyclists

Stradageek wrote: ↑8 Aug 2023, 1:44pm I forsee a possible problem. I ignore other cyclists in case they just want to be left alone, they do the same to me and we become a notoriously antisocial breed.

And maybe I'll get a vest, like some dogs wear, saying "keep your dog away from me, I don't like them!"

All above comments are tongue in cheek

A while ago on a local arts trail, one artist had her children present (an open house situation with her artworks displayed in her house), and she'd got them to attach banners to their clothing saying "FRIENDLY".

I grunt if lucky, mostly nod if the other nods. I was stopped top of a steep hill recently for a drink, and tother way a lad with a trailer came, had a longer chat with him like "are you really going down that hill with that pushing you?"

Sometimes you feel chatty, sometimes you don't. A nod, a wave, an acknowledgement of each others' existence at least is polite. A monosyllabic grunt, even a polysyllabic one, hmm where will it end? Unless you're especially needy, you're just out for a bike ride, not yearning to hear a stranger's life story. I find it's best to keep moving, no matter how slowly.

Stradageek wrote: ↑15 Jul 2023, 9:20am In any case I'm a 'Pensioner In Lycra On Carbon' though I only have one bike with any carbon and that's just the forks

Or perhaps 'Contented Old Man In Civvies' ?

A nod or a finger lifted from the bars is not an invitation to a conversation (especially if you are going in opposite directions), just a normal acknowledgment of another.
In the village where I live it is normal to say hello or wave, but does not lead to a chat. I am an unsociable type but I do like to nod in greeting.