Cycling UK Forum

Hi, Number Two.
Pick up stick down on beach, boy with stick.
Get on bike, ride down road stick in hand, drop bars apply front brake whilst stick in brake hand.............stick goes through forks locks front wheel 20 mph...........slide in to gutter upright hit kerp slide along kerp, come to stop.
Look up concrete lamp post two feet from head................Horah

Not me, honest, but a friend.

I caught up with a friend who had his bike on the pavement near the top of a small hill. His finger was dripping blood.
"what happened?" I asked.

He looked a bit sheepish and said "While I was climbing the hill, I was looking at my front hub and I saw it had a bit of dirt on it......".

Hi, Number 3
Never use rear brake , why would I front brake lifts rear wheel at stops
Rear cable long since sized, front cable sticks and brake drags, after using brake pull out calliper with hand, continue ride
Round short cut, car comes in view stops on my side of narow lane
Apply brake......................back to bars........nipple poped out of lever...........hit front of stationary car, head on go over bonit.
Wheel past frame ( I've been here havent I )
Forks normally stronger than frame.............not on my ( whatever it was back at school, this was before the frame thingy Number 1)
Walk home draging bike get new forks.................Horah

Hi, Number 4
Look at my bike , drop bars, apehangers.....yeh, undo bar clamp, turn bars upside down, levers now thumb operated
Ride up road apply front brake with hand and thumb, weight of your body applies the brake full on..............bike front wheel wheelies........
fly over handle bars and land in road
Go home readjust bars......Horah......I live another day

Shootist wrote:With my brand new hybrid bike heading out to a planned short route, I was cycling up a modeerate hill when I was passed by a jogger! In my defence, I'm 19 stone, dreadfully unfit, and have a heart condition. Still, I got him on the downhill run.

Climbing up Kirkstone Pass I was overtaken by walkers. Cycling up Ribblesdale I was overtaken by runners on the little rise just before Helwith Bridge. "Never mind" I thought, "I'll catch them on the way down the other side". When I got to the top they had already run down the far side and disappeared past Helwith Bridge. And the NHS tell me I'm "superfit".

I nearly fell off these steps once, as I staggered up them with tired legs and the bike at full touring weight.

Not me you understand, but my cycling pal: on a trip round SW France last year, we were aiming for a rather lovely bar on the shores of a lake in Parentis. As we slowed down to stop and park our bikes, Ben forgot he had his spds on and fell flat on his face in front of a reasonably fulll bar. Needless to say everyone was very amused. As my brother and I picked ourselves up after laughing so hard, we all walked into the bar together. As we sat down the very beautiful barmaid came over and said 'Quelle entrée!'

Demonstrating to 661 junior (some years ago) how to remove a taper crank.
Using simple taper tool, something like this one. Nothing very complicated, see! I was talking through the operation.
1. Remove dust cap and unscrew and remove crank bolt from bottom bracket spindle.
2. Back off inner part of tool.
3. Screw outer part of tool into crank. Finger tight then just a touch tighter with big spanner. Not too tight.
4. Screw in inner part of tool until it touches b/b.
5. Apply big spanner to tool and screw it in hard, put some wellie into it, until.....
Ooohhh-errrh!!! What did I just do wrong???

Not really cycling related, but on the subject of other peoples embarrassment there was a guy at Eskdale hostel in 2009 who got out of bed in a sleepwalk and started piddling all over the dormitory floor!

axel_knutt wrote:[. "Never mind" I thought, "I'll catch them on the way down the other side".

That reminds me of one of my big running mistakes.
I went to the local running club for the first time and they invited me to compete on the following Saturday in a relay race. A B & C teams.So on the day I turns up and because I am an unknown quantity placed in the C team which I had assumed was the slowest team.
Anyway as I stood there waiting for the off I looked at my fellow competitors and at that time being in my 30s at the time I just saw men that were a great deal older than me so I thought no problem I will just leave them as soon as I could start.

Hence "Never mind" I thought, "I'll catch them on the way down the other side". sadly I never did and they all just disappeared into the horizon until I saw them at the finish.What do they say never judge a book by the cover and its cycle related in that I was clearly as bad a runner as I am a cyclist.