Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

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tim-b
Posts: 2091
Joined: 10 Oct 2009, 8:20am

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by tim-b »

He’d gone from Bard to verse…
German sausage is wurst
~~~~¯\(ツ)/¯~~~~
tim-b
Posts: 2091
Joined: 10 Oct 2009, 8:20am

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by tim-b »

He’d gone from Bard to verse…
There's a misspelling in there. Shakespeare had a massive drink problem and was banned from every one of Stratford's inns, hence "the barred"
~~~~¯\(ツ)/¯~~~~
Debs
Posts: 1335
Joined: 19 May 2017, 7:05pm
Location: Powys

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by Debs »

tim-b wrote: 9 Nov 2022, 6:05am
He’d gone from Bard to verse…
There's a misspelling in there. Shakespeare had a massive drink problem and was banned from every one of Stratford's inns, hence "the barred"
"Is this a debar which i see before me, the scandal toward my hand!"
Dingdong
Posts: 966
Joined: 22 Apr 2022, 4:59pm

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by Dingdong »

The Greek Economy is so bad...
they've had to cut production of houmus and taramasalata.

It's a double-dip recession.
tim-b
Posts: 2091
Joined: 10 Oct 2009, 8:20am

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by tim-b »

I've broken my relationship with a tennis player off, love meant nothing to her
~~~~¯\(ツ)/¯~~~~
Dingdong
Posts: 966
Joined: 22 Apr 2022, 4:59pm

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by Dingdong »

The ghost of Christmas past walks into a bar, the barman says:

“Sorry, we don’t serve spirits.”
tim-b
Posts: 2091
Joined: 10 Oct 2009, 8:20am

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by tim-b »

Snowman says to another snowman, "Can you smell carrots?"
The second snowman replied, "No, but I can taste coal"
~~~~¯\(ツ)/¯~~~~
Dingdong
Posts: 966
Joined: 22 Apr 2022, 4:59pm

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by Dingdong »

tim-b wrote: 19 Nov 2022, 6:43am Snowman says to another snowman, "Can you smell carrots?"
The second snowman replied, "No, but I can taste coal"
Like it!
Debs
Posts: 1335
Joined: 19 May 2017, 7:05pm
Location: Powys

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by Debs »

After 32 years of excellent service my clothes-horse has finally broken and collapsed

It’s the end of an airer.
jimlews
Posts: 1476
Joined: 11 Jun 2015, 8:36pm
Location: Not the end of the world.

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by jimlews »

Van Gogh marked the end of an era.
Debs
Posts: 1335
Joined: 19 May 2017, 7:05pm
Location: Powys

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by Debs »

I’ve just completed a PhD in palindromes.

You can now call me Dr Awkward
Debs
Posts: 1335
Joined: 19 May 2017, 7:05pm
Location: Powys

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by Debs »

It seems that birthdays are good for your health.

Extensive Government studies, costing billions, have shown that people who have more birthdays live the longest.
mattheus
Posts: 5043
Joined: 29 Dec 2008, 12:57pm
Location: Western Europe

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by mattheus »

Debs wrote: 23 Feb 2023, 11:05am It seems that birthdays are good for your health.

Extensive Government studies, costing billions, have shown that people who have more birthdays live the longest.
I preferred your palindrome joke, to be honest!
thirdcrank
Posts: 36776
Joined: 9 Jan 2007, 2:44pm

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by thirdcrank »

I don't know if this is clean because I don't get it. It was in Private Eye recently
IMG_0399.JPG
IMG_0399.JPG (15.33 KiB) Viewed 329 times
Not only did it go over my head, but it's now on its own head
mattheus
Posts: 5043
Joined: 29 Dec 2008, 12:57pm
Location: Western Europe

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by mattheus »

thirdcrank wrote: 23 Feb 2023, 4:29pm I don't know if this is clean because I don't get it. It was in Private Eye recently

IMG_0399.JPG

Not only did it go over my head, but it's now on its own head
Yes, I think it's clean. It's to do with magnetism
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