Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Have you heard about the Frenchman with a wheat allergy?
He could only count to seven.
He could only count to seven.
'Give me my bike, a bit of sunshine - and a stop-off for a lunchtime pint - and I'm a happy man.' - Reg Baker
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Proof that a dog is a mans best friend.....
lock your dog and your wife in the boot of your car and go back in an hour and see which is pleased to see you
lock your dog and your wife in the boot of your car and go back in an hour and see which is pleased to see you
'Kernow bys Vyken'
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Why did the Weeble go to the cash machine?
He wanted to check his balance.
He wanted to check his balance.
High on a cocktail of flossy teacakes and marmalade
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Why don't flies have balls ?
Because they can't dance.
Because they can't dance.
‘MALE by the evolutionary process of natural selection
Heterosexual by choice
Atheist by the grace of G**
Heterosexual by choice
Atheist by the grace of G**
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
I bought Mrs Jezer a wooden leg for Christmas, it wasn't her main present, just a stocking filler
Power to the pedals
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
I bought myself an etrex!!
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
freeflow wrote:I bought myself an etrex!!
Is that yorkshire for a long walk?
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
geocycle wrote:freeflow wrote:I bought myself an etrex!!
Is that yorkshire for a long walk?
Or cooking fat laced with Ecstasy? Rubbed into the mouth in what Yorkshire druggies refer to as "E by gum"
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
When I was at school I was the teacher's pet. She kept me in a cage at the back of the classroom. Alright it's an old one, but then so am I
Power to the pedals
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
jezer wrote:I bought Mrs Jezer a wooden leg for Christmas, it wasn't her main present, just a stocking filler
I got Mrs R an eye pad. I still don't understand what I did wrong - she'd been dropping hints about wanting one for months.
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Heres food for thought…Meskel Square, Addis Abeba: http://youtu.be/UEIn8GJIg0E Watch the peds and cyclists!
And.. To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present...
They are due back at the library today.
..and Bilbo was surprised to wake one morning and find a Tesco had been built next to his house. It was an unexpected item in the Baggins area.
Jack and Jill,
Went up the hill,
To have some hanky panky,
Silly Jill forgot her pill,
And now there's little Franky.
One, two, three, four, five, once I caught a fish alive,
Six, seven, eight, nine, ten,
I'm barred from Deep Sea World again.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,
The structure of the wall was incorrect,
So he got three grand from Claims Direct.
Mary had a little lamb,
It had a touch of colic,
She gave it brandy twice a day,
And now its alcoholic.
Al
And.. To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present...
They are due back at the library today.
..and Bilbo was surprised to wake one morning and find a Tesco had been built next to his house. It was an unexpected item in the Baggins area.
Jack and Jill,
Went up the hill,
To have some hanky panky,
Silly Jill forgot her pill,
And now there's little Franky.
One, two, three, four, five, once I caught a fish alive,
Six, seven, eight, nine, ten,
I'm barred from Deep Sea World again.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,
The structure of the wall was incorrect,
So he got three grand from Claims Direct.
Mary had a little lamb,
It had a touch of colic,
She gave it brandy twice a day,
And now its alcoholic.
Al
Reuse, recycle, thus do your bit to save the planet.... Get stuff at auctions, Dump, Charity Shops, Facebook Marketplace, Ebay, Car Boots. Choose an Old House, and a Banger ..... And cycle as often as you can......
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Mary had a little lamb
She also had a bear
I've often seen her little lamb
But never seen her bare.
She also had a bear
I've often seen her little lamb
But never seen her bare.
Mick F. Cornwall
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Hmmm.... not all that funny and not all that clean.
Mary had a little lamb,
Its fleece was white and wispy.
One day, along came foot-and-mouth,
And now it's black and crispy....
Mary had a little lamb,
Its fleece was white and wispy.
One day, along came foot-and-mouth,
And now it's black and crispy....
Suppose that this room is a lift. The support breaks and down we go with ever-increasing velocity.
Let us pass the time by performing physical experiments...
--- Arthur Eddington (creator of the Eddington Number).
Let us pass the time by performing physical experiments...
--- Arthur Eddington (creator of the Eddington Number).
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
When Mary had a little lamb
The doctor was surprised
But when Macdonald had a farm
You should have seen his eyes!
Mary had a little lamb
The farmer shot it dead
Now Mary takes that lamb to school
Between two hunks of bread
Mary had a little lamb
She kept it in a bucket
And when the little lamb got out
The sheepdog tried to put it back again.
The old ones are the best.... IGMC
The doctor was surprised
But when Macdonald had a farm
You should have seen his eyes!
Mary had a little lamb
The farmer shot it dead
Now Mary takes that lamb to school
Between two hunks of bread
Mary had a little lamb
She kept it in a bucket
And when the little lamb got out
The sheepdog tried to put it back again.
The old ones are the best.... IGMC
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Hey diddle diddle the cat did a piddle
all over the kitchen floor.
The little dog laughed to see so much,
so the cat did a little bit more.
all over the kitchen floor.
The little dog laughed to see so much,
so the cat did a little bit more.